This is my last Ecuador post, my lovelies.

Ecuador was really amazing. For my last few days there I explored a bit of the Cloud Forest. It is in the north of Ecuador, and it reminded me of Humboldt. Grey most of the time, big trees. A bit warmer and more humid though. I saw some amazing butterflies and flowers and hummingbirds while I was there. It was funny because the locals were so blase about things I was totally blown away by. Like this iridescent butterfly for instance:

Or these WILD ORCHIDS:

I went to a butterfly “farm” and finally got some good pictures. Those suckers are really hard to catch on film. And of course, the hummingbirds:

There was this sweet Ecuadorian girl that I absolutely had to get a picture of. Look at how damn cute she is holding a freaking butterfly. It is face meltingly adorable:

Some of the following pictures were taken at the butterfly farm, others while I was out walking in the woods:

This one’s wings really looked like piano keys up close!

And my crown jewel, the Morpho butterfly. I was at the butterfly farm for two hours before I got one of this gal:

It’s funny because the Morphos are all over the place down here. I would see one and lose my mind, but my Ecuadorian friends would just be like, “Whatever. Same old, same old.”

Look Ma! I am feeding one! I love the owl eye camouflage as well. What a cool trick to discourage predators, no?

One of the coolest parts was getting to see the cocoons up close. So breathtakingly beautiful:

Mindo (the Cloud Forest) is very well known for it’s chocolate. Down the street from my hostel lived a chocolate maker and I got to see him do his thang. Here is the raw cacao:

And here is his awesome place:

This is the ground up cacao waiting to get made into finished chocolate. It smelled so good! 

I was able to try raw cacao as well, which was pretty exciting. Basically the seeds were covered in a white goo that you could eat. (You couldn’t eat the actual cacao, just the outer covering.) It tasted sweet and a little tart:

Once the cacao was dried and toasted, the next step is grinding it. He used a hand crank, but obviously it works a little differently on a larger scale:

Then you add hot water and sugar and make a paste out of it. It was so amazingly delicious! We ate it on top of fruit.

Here are the roasted beans:

And finally, my last couple of pictures that didn’t fit anywhere else:

   

If you are still interested, I have some thoughts and reflections at this point. Continue on if you dare, dear reader.

There were some major cultural differences that took me a while to get used to. First of all, in Ecuador you don’t throw your toilet paper in the toilet, you put it in the garbage. This totally blew my mind. Also, the haggling. It was generally expected that you don’t take a first offer, except in more formal settings. As a white tourist, I felt not so great about haggling locals down to cheaper prices. I know that they automatically inflate the price, but still. It just felt a little yucky.

One thing I loved was the cultural attitude towards breast-feeding. Nobody cared or gave a second look, except tourists. Women were walking around while breast feeding in the historic center, on buses, in restaurants. It was really refreshing. People’s heads didn’t explode with all the boobs around. The world kept on turning. I wish it was more like that here in the states.

All in all, I really love travelling by myself. Especially when trying to learn a new language. Being by myself meant that I had more opportunities to interact with locals, thus practicing my Spanish. Also I relish the independence that travelling alone affords, and I was able to make or change plans at a moment’s notice.

There were definitely some downsides to travelling alone. Sometimes I got unwanted attention from men, and there were a couple situations that were incredibly uncomfortable. In Mindo a man followed me all the way to my hostel and wouldn’t leave me alone. It was dark and no one was around and I was genuinely scared for a minute there. (I hope my Mom doesn’t read this.)

Being alone on my travels meant that I was able to meet Edison, which was one of the highlights of my trip. He is really sweet and caring, and I was really sad to say goodbye when the time came. It was nice to be able to share some of my experiences with him, and he was so patient with me while I was trying to learn Spanish. He helped me so much. Part of me could see moving down there and getting married and growing cacao and having babies. But a bigger part of me loves my life that I have built here and my job and everything. And I don’t really know him well enough to make that kind of decision anyway. He wants to come visit this February, so who knows what the future will hold. Todo es possible en el Mundo, no?

In general the Ecuadorians that I encountered were so warm and wonderful. They were incredibly patient when helping me with my Spanish, and always seemed willing to help when asked. With directions, with lodging or travel. My teachers and the staff at the Spanish school were absolutely lovely. I wish I had some pictures with them. They taught me so much. I would love to visit Ecuador again.

I am a little disappointed with my Spanish level. If I had a couple more months I might have gotten a really good handle on it. The past tense is really difficult for me, and my vocabulary is incredibly limited. I understand about 75% of what is said, but it is harder to speak correctly. Yo entiendo mas de yo hablo. One of my goals this year is to keep working on my Spanish.

One final disappointment I have is not being able to see the Galapagos. It is incredibly expensive to visit, and I just didn’t have the money. Instead I opted for a longer trip that included more of the jungle. Next time I would like to find a way to get there. It is such a special and fascinating place in the world.

Am already hatching more plans for the future. Next year I would like to walk part of the Camino de Santiago in Spain and Portugal, thus allowing me to continue my Spanish studies. Spanish in Spain is very different than in Latin America, but whatevs. It is rumored to be beautiful and rewarding, and I am hoping I can swing it.

My journey home was harrowing to say the least, and I am lying in bed right now feeling like I got hit by a truck. It is so strange being here in my house. It doesn’t feel real.

Also, hit me up if you want to practice Spanish. I am going to be putting together an informal study group once a week if anyone is interested.

Love you.

Amanda

I ate bugs.

Hey there my lovelies. I am in the jungle now. Who knew that bugs were a thing in the jungle? Ah well, you learn something new every day.

I met these awesome Ecuadorians and we went to swimming at the river. It was beautiful and there were freaking hummingbirds and butterflies. There are these amazing black and neon blue butterflies here that I have only ever seen in books. Unfortunately it is really difficult to capture them on film because they are kinda flying around in the air. The locals are pretty blase about the butterflies and the birds here, but I never cease to be amazed. We swam and life was good.

Then my friends and I went for a boat ride to a traditional Kichwa community. There are many indigenous cultures here in Ecuador, and the Kichwa are an important group in the Amazon. I have mixed feelings about being a white tourist.

First of all, there is a lot of history with the Spanish and the Indigenous people. Of course it gets even more complicated because a majority of the population in Ecuador is Mestizo, or a mix of Indigenous and Spanish. Within a single person is hundreds of years of history.

So I feel strange about invading their village and taking pictures of them like they are in a sideshow. Also, they have animals for the tourists to take pictures with, and I don’t feel great about that either.

I have been talking a bit with some of the Kichwa people I have met, and they say that the tourism has helped the Indigenous community. They feel that it is good for the Ecuadorian people especially to learn about the traditional culture. Also, it brings in revenue to a community that is struggling. Recently some of the first Kichwa politicians have been elected here in Ecuador, and a few of the Kichwans I have spoken with feel that this is directly related to the recent surge in tourism. Every person of Kichwa descent I have met is really proud of their heritage and seems excited to talk with me about it. The issues of racism and imperialism are so complicated here, and I really don’t pretend to understand or have the answers. I am just trying to investigate the best I can and make good choices that don’t contribute to the problem.

While I was at the Kichwa village I decided to try a traditional food called Chontacuro. Chontacuro is worms. Grubs actually. They put them on a stick and grill them. Here is the slide show of me eating grubs:

I have got to say, the taste wasn’t all that bad. What was really bad was the texture. The head was all crunchy and the body was all chewy and kinda slimy. Here are some close-ups:

We had a really great day. In general all the Ecuadorians I have met have been so awesome and sweet and patient with me while I try to learn Spanish. It is so different from some people I know in California who feel that every immigrant from Latin America needs to speak English perfectly. Learning a new language is so difficult if people aren’t flexible and willing to help out.

Then I went to this awesome animal sanctuary called “Amazoonica.” Almost all of the animals here were once illegal pets, and can’t be released back into the wild because they are too domesticated or they would not survive.

Here is an ocelot that once belonged to an Ecuadorian politician. The public outcry was so great he was forced to give it up.

Here is a toucan. Most of the animals at Amazoonica are birds. Birds are apparently almost impossible to reintroduce back into the wild:

And then here was one of my favorites. It is called a Coatimundi, and it is very similar to a raccoon. This one was a housepet for a long time and so now it loves people. Those of you who know me well may also know that I freaking love raccoons. As much as I love being able to see this animal up close, it kills me to see a wild animal in a cage like this. And this animal is not a house-pet. It belongs in the forest. So sad. It is like it is behind bars or something.

One of the coolest animals I got to see was the Tapir. They have two, and they are kind of like a mix between a horse and a rhino. So cool to see one in real life!

And then this is Michael.

Michael’s story is really sad. Normally monkeys are the easiest to reintroduce back into the wild because even if a monkey is domesticated, if you put it with other wild monkeys they can teach it everything it needs to know to be a monkey in the jungle. Pretty cool, no?

Michael was at another animal rescue site that had to close due to lack of funding. The Ecuadorian government chose to ship all of the monkeys in a small container without food or water for the 3 day journey. Needless to say, 3 of the 7 monkeys were dead on arrival. The other monkeys managed to adjust and were eventually released. Unfortunately the stress of the journey took a pretty serious psychological toll on Michael and he can’t be in a family group with other monkeys of his species. It is really really sad.

A majority of the animals at Amazoonica are sent from the government who confiscates them from illegal pet situations. Of course, Amazoonica receives absolutely ZERO funding from the government for this service. Ugh

Here is another one of my favorites:

This rodent is closely related to the Capybara and it is called an Aguti. This Aguti has a genetic disorder that makes it’s two front teeth grow too quickly. If it was in the wild it would die, but the veterinarians at Amazoonica file his teeth for him every month. 

Finally, here is the amazing hostel I am staying at here in Tena. It is owned by a German/Ecuadorian couple, and they have composting toilets!

Here is my first mosquito net bed:

Of course, I still have literally hundreds of bites despite using bug spray and a net for sleeping. I almost posted a picture of my left foot which has probably 30 bites, but I decided that would be cruel and unusual.

Here is the view:

Tonight at dinner there were these wonderful Italians. It is so fun to sit at a table where people are speaking German, Spanish, Italian, and English. We called it our International Table. Tomorrow I start my journey to the cloud forest, and then I leave for the states on the 15th. I wish I had more time!!

Trials and Tribulations

This is going to be a long post, so strap in amigos. I had a really terrible last week in Quito. First I got the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had. I will spare you the gory details, but you should know that there were many moments that I prayed for death.

Then things at my hostel sort of came to a head. I am pretty sure that the boss’ son is addicted to heroin. And they kept asking me for money. The widow who owned the place kept asking to borrow money, or to use my credit card to buy stuff online. Obviously I said no. I am not an idiot.

But then I closed the door the wrong way. After a month of living there. There was no sign. Nobody told me anything about closing the door a certain way. The owner claimed that they had to climb the roof and broke it to get back in. I wasn’t there. Anyway, she asked me for 20 dollars. I said no, and it was really fucking awkward. I had to leave with all my things at 6 in the morning.

It was not the happiest day of my life. Also, I was just beginning to be able to eat again. So I was not at full strength.

After school I tried to catch a taxi. I must have closed the trunk too hard, because it wouldn’t shut again. The taxi driver proceeded to bitch at me in Spanish for the 30 minute drive to the bus station.

Once at the bus station, he told me I needed to pay him 30 dollars for his broken trunk. Maybe I would have paid it on a different day. But this day was the day I fled my hostal because they were trying to scam me for a month. Today was not the day I was going to pay for a broken trunk.

He proceeded to block my way, and call me a bitch for not paying. I have had bad experiences in my life, but this is maybe in the top five worst moments. It was broad daylight, and there were many people around watching. Nobody did anything. He called me a bitch and a whore, and maybe I should have paid him.

Instead I started crying, and walked with my suitcase and backpack in the road to get away. I proceeded to cry hysterically.

All the Ecuadorians in the terminal looked at this hysterically crying gringa like I was completely insane. I called my sister, and she talked me through it.

Once I made it to Otavalo, it was amazing. I can’t even describe it. Here is one of the mountains from my hostel:

There are two. The locals say that one is the father, and one is the mother. This one is called Cotacachi, and it is the mother. When there is snow at the top people say that the father mountain (called Imbabura) has paid the mother a conjugal visit in the night.

Needless to say, my hostal was amazing and professional. Here are some pictures from my hammock there:

I have got to say, I have never met a bad Canadian. I met these amazing Canadians at my hostel and we spent several evenings by the fire singing.

And then here is my room:

Yes, that is a wood-burning stove. It only cost 25 dollars a night. I figure that I deserve some good luck after the horrors of Quito.

Then I went to a waterfall with a sweet German girl I met. It was perfect and amazing.

Eventually I did a walk to the “Condor Park”. There was a tree there called “El Lechero” which basically translates to “The Lecher” in English. The story goes that once there was a man who coveted his neighbor’s wife. When they hooked up he got turned into a tree as punishment. The wife got turned into the neighboring lake. So there you go. Here is the tree:  

And here is one of the native Condors of Ecuador. They are even more endangered than the Condors of California if you can believe it. The Condor Park served as a rehabilitation center for birds of prey. They actually had 2 bald eagles called “Gringa” and “Gringo.” I thought that was really funny.

Also in Otavalo there was this amazing market. I didn’t wantto buy anything, but somehow I left with an alpaca blanket and a hammock. Oh well.

And then finally, here is my Ecuadorian love interest, Edison. I have never met anyone who loves food like he does. I am trying to prepare myself for our eventual parting, but every time we say goodbye it gets more and more difficult. Oh, Ecuador.

The Chapel of Man

This is my art and museum post, so if you don’t like that stuff move along. I recommend clicking on the pictures to see the larger sizes. There is some pretty epic stuff here.

First of all, let me say that they really know how to do churches here in Latin America. Never seen anything like it. I like this guy ’cause he is holding a skull like a boss:

Yesterday I went to a museum of pre-Columbian art and it was amazing. Check out this monkey flute:

It really felt like the objects had souls infused into them. So ancient, and so beautiful:

These were all the size of beads. The photos totally don’t do their intricacy or beauty justice:

Some of the objects really reminded me of the Studio Ghibli films, especially Spirited Away:

Then I went to this amazing art museum called “Cepilla del Hombre” or “Chapel of the Man.” It was originally the house of a famous Ecuadorian painted named Oswaldo Guayasamin. He died in 1999, and he is my new favorite artist. Here is a link to his bio:

Guayasamin’s Bio

He was such a beautiful human being! I am going back to the museum this week because I loved it so much. He dedicated his life and art to the struggle of the Indigenous People of South America and all around the world. When he died he bequeathed all of his original art, his house (and his art collection housed within) to the country of Ecuador. It is now a museum and it is amazing.

Here is a video of him painting the famous guitarist Paco de Lucia. I wish it had English subtitles so you could understand what he is saying. My favorite thing he says is that when painting a portrait it is important to capture the characteristics of person that are unchanging since birth. We all grow old and change, but still there are things that remain constant from birth til death, and it is those he is trying to capture. Here is the video:

Paco de Lucia’s Portrait

And here are some pieces from his private art collection. We weren’t allowed to take pictures inside, so just know that there was much much much more.

This is a recreation of a famous painting of Christ. I have included the original as well:

“I cried because I didn’t have shoes until I saw a child who didn’t have feet”

Self-Portrait

“Tears of Blood”

Sanduche

I went to Banos with my Ecuadorian love interest. At first it was beautiful. Look at the view from our hostel:

And here is the waterfall that feeds into a thermal hot springs below:

But then it started raining. And by raining I mean in the biblical sense. We could barely leave our hostel. We had planned to go on a hike to a waterfall called “The Devil’s Nose,” but the rain had caused mudslides so we couldn’t go. As a consolation, Edison took me to try a traditional drink called “Sanduche.” Sanduche is basically distilled liquor from raw sugar cane. It was very good, and very strong!

Needless to say I was a little disappointed. But all is well. Here I am with some of my beautiful English and Norwegian friends from my language school:

Today I went to the Plaza del Presidente. There were these men singing and playing traditional Ecuadorian music on the guitar. The one with the grey hair asked me to marry him. I am pretty sure he is already married, but whatevs. I sat and listened for like 2 hours. It was wonderful.

And check out the look on this kid’s face. Spectacular.

Hot Springs and Hot Guys

OK, so I need to share this crazy thing that happened to me. I decided to go to these thermal hot springs near this volcano. It took like 2 hours by bus….no big deal. And I am learning to love terrible action movies because the dialogue is so simple I can understand them in Spanish. They played a movie called Jailbreak with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger and I actually quite enjoyed it.

On the way there I met this sweet couple; the man was from Australia and the woman was Ecuadorian. Unfortunately he spoke about 5 words of Spanish, and she the same in English. They were very much in love, but I get the sneaking suspicion it was because they couldn’t understand each other. It is easy to love someone when they can’t say anything to piss you off.

Anyway, it was wonderful. I hung out with them all day in the pools. There were flowers and birds and FREAKING BUNNIES. IN THESE NATURAL VOLCANIC HOT SPRINGS. 

Some of the pools were boiling hot, and some were freezing cold. When you got too hot, you just dunked yourself in the freezing cold springs for a minute. It was so awesome. I was in the springs for seriously like 6 hours.

And then this was the view from the pools:

If you are starting to get pissed off at me, don’t worry. The ride back was far from idyllic. My friends and I went down the mountain to wait for a bus. No big deal, right? WRONGWRONGWRONG!!!!

All the buses were full because it was Sunday and many folks were going to work in the city for the week. We waited for an hour and half. In the pouring rain. Finally a bus came, but it was STANDING ROOM ONLY. We got on, and the bus driver promptly turned off the lights. So I was standing in the dark, soaking wet. And everyone who was standing started laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the situation. I met these sweet Cuban men who were standing with me in the dark and we became friends. One of them convinced me that we should sit in the aisle back to back so we could rest. It is so crazy how intimate you get with strangers in situations like that!

And then these young Ecuadorians had speakers and they started playing this hard core Ecuadorian hip-hop. Meanwhile in the background there was Bachata dance music playing on the bus speakers. It was so absurd and amazing. Here we are standing in the bus: 

Finally, to top it all off, I met a man while I was visiting the Basilica the other day. I really wasn’t expecting to. Having just exited a really terrible relationship I wasn’t looking to date anyone on my trip. But you just never know. He is Ecuadorian and his name is Edison. Look at how handsome he is:

We have been dating for a week or so, and today we are going to this town called Banos for a couple days. Needless to say I am having a really good and strange and exciting time here.

Attack Aardvarks

Check it out! It only took me like 4 hours to get to this amazing volcanic lake! And then 4 hours back! All in one day! That being said, it was probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

And then I went to the “Mitad del Mundo” or the middle of the world. It is where the Equator falls. They did all kinds of crazy science tricks with water and stuff. My favorite part was the statues. They were so beautiful!

And a new fruit! Not as good as the Granadillas, unfortunately. It tasted like a mix of Papaya and Watermelon. It is called “Tuna” as I recall, and it is the fruit of some kind of cactus.   

Unfortunately I can’t remember the name of this fruit. It looked a lot like shark eggs that “Slimer” from Ghostbusters attacked. It was really good, I promise! I wish I could remember the name. Inside each of the white casings was a large, inedible black seed. The fruit here is so crazy!

Then I went to this beautiful church called “The Basillica.” Now, I have been to England and seen Big Ben, and this place blew Big Ben out of the water! (No offense to my British friends, but Big Ben is rather disappointing.) It is really strange to encounter a structure that is so old and wisened by the years. And the work it took to build this place! It is just staggering. I am staying very close by, and I want to take a picture of it at night. So gorgeous!

It was so beautiful there. Of course, I feel very conflicted about the Catholic Church. In many ways it is such a beautiful faith. Once I was inside the church I was overcome with the beauty of it all, and I even wept if you can believe it! But in my heart I can’t forget the sins of the Church against the indigenous people here, and all over the world for that matter. So much suffering, and yet so much beauty as well. It is difficult to mend the two realities.

At the top of the church there were what I would say was one of the sketchiest sets of stairs I have ever encountered. They led to this gorgeous view at the top of a tower. And of course, I have a terrible fear of heights. But I went ahead and climbed up anyway. I thought I was going to hyperventilate, and my legs were shaking which did not make climbing any easier. I don’t really understand why I put myself in situations like this. Maybe it is because I am afraid that inside I am fundamentally a cowardly person, so I feel the need to constantly prove that belief wrong. I do many things that I am very afraid of, and in a way this makes me feel proud of myself. Here is a picture of ONE OF THE THREE SETS OF STAIRS:

You had to be there I guess. But I felt very accomplished that I made it to the top and back down again.

The stained glass was so beautiful inside the church. And I love Mary so much. She feels like such a benevolent figure.

And look! Attack aardvarks! Attack tortoises!

Crazy Fruits

Hi Everybody! If you would like to experience what pubic transit has been like here, please watch the following video:

AHHHHHHH!

I have now successfully navigated taxis, buses near and far, and walking. I am pretty much the queen of every mode of transit. It definitely makes me re calibrate what my definition of challenging is. For instance, I used to think that navigating the muni in San Francisco was difficult. NOT SO!! NOT SO!!!

I went with some Germans to Our Lady (The Virgin I showed you before from afar.) Here are some pictures we took there. She is even more beautiful in person!

Then I went with SOME MORE GERMANS to the tourist district, called “The Mariscal.” The locals call it “GringoTerra” or “Land of the White People.” It was insane. I have never seen so many bars and Discotheques in one place. There were probably a thousand people out at midnight from all over the world. Mestizos were selling cigarettes and there were upscale hotels and prostitutes. It was very strange for me. But I had a great time with the Germans. And I like to think that every time a Jew befriends a German, Hitler gets peed on by God or something. I don’t know. Here are some pictures from the Mariscal:

Finally, my favorite part of eating here is the fruit. I tried these little orange fruits call Uvillas. Uva means grapes, so it roughly translates to little grapes. They are sour, but very good.

My favorite fruit here BY FAR is called Granadillas. It is related to the passion fruit. It is maybe the best thing I have ever tasted in my life. No joke. Unfortunately it looks like alien babies covered in snot. Look:

And here are the granadillas with the uvillas:

Fuerza Interior

So yeah, flying is super weird. Humans definitely weren’t meant to go so fast or so high or any of that. But it is pretty cool, because now I am in Ecuador. I haven’t flown since I was 18…..I forgot how crazy it is. Here is the view from the plane as we began our descent into Quito:

When I first arrived here it was superduper extra overwhelming. It is just insane how difficult it is to be in a place when you don’t speak the language….nothing makes sense and I felt so helpless. Adding to the craziness was the fact that city was almost completely non-functional during the Pope’s visit. When my plane landed all the roads to the airport were closed, and I was stuck there for 2 hours waiting for a ride. Once I got into Quito proper, all the markets and the banks and the roads were closed, and there were police freaking EVERYWHERE. It took some adjustment on my part. Today was the first day I really got to explore the historical district of the city, and it was liberating. Here are some crazy cool pictures of Old Town Quito:

This is “La Virgen de Panecillo.” I am not religious, but I have fallen a little in love with her. I can see her whenever I am walking to school as she is visible from practically everywhere in the city. I am also not superstitious, but it feels as though she is looking after me. I love her wings.

My hostel is strange and wonderful. It is an Ecuadorian widow named Rina and her 35 year old son, Malik. She is an artist and they are both very eccentric. Malik has the loudest laugh I have ever heard in my life. There is a Cuban couple here as well and nobody speaks much English. Every wall is covered with art and they have a wonderful black lab named Cosmos. Most of my days are spent speaking Spanish and by 5 or 6 I end up retreating to my room to get some mental rest. Here are some pictures of the hostel:

Malik bought some fish at the market tonight and we ate green beans and fried plantains. IT WAS AMAZING.

My new favorite phrase in Spanish is “fuerza interior.” Malik says it is important for travelers. It is my new motto.

I’m flying, Jack!

I am back home in Los Osos after a wonderful trip up north. It is always strange going so quickly from place to place. It is sort of jarring to me. And I am sick to death of driving. I must have clocked about 35 hours over the last couple weeks. BUT SOON I WILL BE FLYING!!

After Eugene I went to Humboldt to work at a Chamber Music Camp. It was a great and awful experience, as per usual. The hours are crazy, and I am staying at the dorms. So….shitty sleep, and work from 8:30 in the morning till 10:30 at night. The work wasn’t crazy hard or anything. But it was just exhausting over an entire week. The kids I had the pleasure of working with were amazing, and I love them very much.

One of the highlight of my week was having lunch with a former teacher of mine who is a professional violinist. She wanted to talk because I haven’t played violin since college and when asked why I replied, “Because I was never very good anyway, so there wasn’t really a point to keep going with it.”

When she heard that she asked if we could have a chat. And I told her about something that happened earlier this year that really hurt me and further damaged my delicate violinist’s ego, thereby hammering down the last nail on my proverbial musical coffin. I don’t know why I am telling all of you about this, but whatever.

This fall I auditioned to be in the San Luis Obispo Symphony. The SLO Symphony is a relatively professional group, and they play more difficult music than I am used to. I auditioned with a Bach piece that I used to love. Unfortunately I have burnt out on this specific piece, as I have been working on it for the last 3 years. I didn’t practice as much as I should (because of the burnout and general laziness/business with work), and I felt that I played badly at my audition.

When I arrived at the conductor’s house there were statues of the Buddha and succulent plants and impressive pieces of art everywhere. It looked like how I imagine Richard Gere’s house would look for some odd reason. When I pulled out my instrument, I couldn’t seem to get it in tune. It was really embarrassing because I have tuned my violin countless times. But I just couldn’t seem to get it right that day, and I couldn’t hear how it should be. And thus the tone was set for my entire audition.

When I finished playing my piece and sight-reading he told me that I could be a sub to get my foot in the door, but I couldn’t be a permanent member. It really felt like rejection. Looking back, maybe it was gray area. But whatever. It was not a happy day in my life. After that I didn’t play violin much except to teach with. And even then I would rarely take it out.

I told her all of this to explain why I had basically quit playing music. Violin had always been painful for me….I could never sound how I wanted to. It was torturous knowing I could never play it “right.”

She said, “Amanda, the violin should be a solace for you and not a punishment.” She basically went on to give me the best pep talk ever a.k.a. slap some sense into me. Just because I am not the best violinist ever doesn’t mean I am not allowed to enjoy playing or use it as an emotional or creative outlet. She gave me ideas for different pieces to play and different groups to join. Maybe this all sounds obvious to y’all, but my relationship with my violin and with classical music in general has always been a complicated one. So it makes it difficult to have proper perspective.

But the point is that I am excited to get back and start playing classical music again. Maybe I will audition for SLO Symphony again if that is still a thing when I get back. (Locals who know all the drama with Michael Novak feel my pain on this one.) Maybe not. Maybe lessons? She told me to take a break from lessons. Maybe I will. Who knows what will happen. All in all it was a great conversation, and I am forever indebted to her for it.

My imminent departure to Ecuador has started to sink in, and I am all abuzz with packing. I have an 8 hour layover in Mexico City. What the hell am I going to do for 8 hours in the Mexico City Airport? Crazily enough flying to Quito Ecuador should only take 8 hours or so, but the trip will take 16 hours because of the damn layover. But I haven’t flown since August of 2011. (Yes, right before September 11th.) So it is all very exciting.

Here is a video about flying for your enjoyment, and to poke fun at myself (there is definitely some swearing in this clip, just so you know):

Louis CK and Flying

OK….here is another one